Alone In The Dark
By
Paul Freeman
I lie here
awake everyday, surrounded by four blank walls, the room illuminated by
artificial light. I am aware of my surroundings but only just. I sense the grey
shapes that come to administer to my needs, to shine bright lights into what
they think are unseeing eyes, to bathe and change me, to pull and prod. I’m
sure they mean well.
Where am I?
And how did I get here? I can no longer remember, sometimes I think I have
memories but I confuse them with my dreams. I do sleep you see. I’m aware of
the lights going on and off periodically. Although I cannot make out their
features or make sense of their words I know the shapes discuss me. I try to
communicate truly I do, but it’s useless. It’s hard to explain, imagine living
in a dark rabbit hole with barely enough room for your body, you can see the
light at the entrance but it is covered by thick glass, all you can hear are
mumbled sounds and see blurred images.
Everyday
the entrance to the rabbit hole gets further away. At first I fought it with
everything I had, I willed myself towards the opening, pleading with the grey
shapes to hear my cry and pull me free, to rescue me from the darkness, to
liberate me from this black prison. At first I wanted to be free, unchained
from this living hell.
Time became
meaningless to me, days blended into night and became weeks, maybe months or
years, but then again maybe not, it has become irrelevant, I neither know nor
care. I no longer call out to the shapes, or scream, as I once did when the
lights were turned out, not to leave me alone to face the terrors that came to
visit. Nightmares conjured from my own imagination. Demons and monsters that
taunted and tormented me. Trapped, I was easy prey to them, they fed off my
fear and loneliness.
Dark winged
creatures with red gaping maws and fangs glistening with poisonous secretions,
bone white man-shaped hideous beings with claws and grotesque bulbous heads.
Fat, scaly, bloated shapes with dagger like teeth, bulging eyes and flickering
forked tongues. Every horror my imagination could conceive, every night time
terror I ever had come to life, made real by my confinement.
How I
screamed, how I struggled, night after night, trapped inside my own head with
my nightmares. The lights go down, I struggle to break free, invisible bonds hold
me tight as they approach. I can hear the rustling of leathery wings, the click
of talons on the floor, the terrifying sound of their growls. I imagine their
claws ripping my flesh, their sharp fangs sinking into my exposed throat.
Where can I
go? What can I do? Nothing, nothing but retreat. Retreat? I flee, get the hell
away, deeper and deeper into the cavernous expanse of my uncharted mind. How
can I run from my own imagination? Can I escape from my own thoughts, my own dreams?
With the horrors of my own creation feeding off me.
I can hide
from them, there are places inside my mind that only I can go, but it takes me
further away from the light. I imagine a vast ocean, a huge expanse with warm,
welcoming water, protecting and sheltering me. It’s there now, waiting for me,
a calm friendly place where I can go, where the demons cannot follow. The
temptation to walk into the water is huge, to keep walking until I am submerged
beneath the rippling waves.
I step
closer, I can sense the terrors tensing. I can hear the voices of the grey
shapes beyond the light becoming animated and excited, I still cannot make out
the words.
Another
step, the water swirls around my feet, lapping at my ankles. The monsters
writhe and scream as if I am causing them agonising pain. They need me, they
need to feed off my fear.
Up to my
waist and I can hear a very loud, high pitched noise. I need to cover my ears.
The grotesque creatures are all writhing on the ground in agony. The noise is
coming from behind them, from beyond the opening of the rabbit hole. A hand
reaches out from the light, I hear a voice calling to me, urging me back,
calling for me not to give in. I start to walk back, but the creatures stir,
gaining strength as I come back out of the water.
I’m afraid.
They snarl and roar, their hunger driving them wild.
“We’re
losing him, Doctor.” The first words I can make out, I can see a face peering
through the hole. One of the creatures opens black leathery wings and starts to
rise.
I can’t go
back. I can’t face them. I walk back into the water, I wont stop.
The light
goes out. Forever.
No comments:
Post a Comment